Journals Of A Non-Poet

The first #philmclub viewing will take place on Tuesday 31st January, 2012 at 8:30pm.

Available from Amazon for a couple of quid here.

Watch via Netflix here.

Download on iTunes here.

So, the plan is - we'll all be ready to simultaneously press play at exactly 8:30pm, have our Twitter loaded up & ready to join the chat. Make sure you use the #philmclub hastag to make it searchable & make some popcorn or summit'.

NB: If you don't like this film or don't fancy watching it; suck it up! Join in the chat anyway. That's the whole point. It's a shared experience - so if you think Mike Myers' Scottish accent is shite, then TWEET THAT. Got it? Cool.

TTFN,

P. x

Like movies? Like talking shite on the internet? 'Mon join the #philmclub!

We'll not make this a weekly or monthly thing. I'll create a list of #philmclub members & we'll keep in touch via that & arrange it for times that suit, so suggestions welcome - but if you fanny around & can't make it - then don't worry! We'll have more!

Here's the idea:

• We pick a film. This can be any film at all. Doesn't have to be good - having taken part in @Glinner's bad movie club a few years back - the shite films were the best fun. Doesn't matter where you get the film, be it iTunes, Netflix, Love Film, Amazon, Blockbuster, HMV, your pal's DVD collection... doesn't matter. Just get a copy; don't worry though, we'll give you a week's notice to get the DVD.

• We arrange a time. Once we've set a time, the idea is that we all press play simultaneously.

• We open up our twitter. If you search the hashtag '#philmclub' we can all keep up with the chat about the film & interact with each other!

Easy.

Tweet @philiplarkin if you want to take part!

I did a wee talk for Social Media Week, 2011. I talked about Social Storytelling; have a wee look here if you like.

Gérard Depardieu of course, is the subject of many jokes and puns
after he urinated into a bottle on a Paris to Dublin flight this week.
Whilst many have accused him of being drunk and disorderly, it seems
to be the case that Depardieu simply got caught short.

Let's take a step back and look at this from another angle. Gérard
Depardieu is 62-years of age. Not quite retirement age, granted - but
I think it's worth noting that this isn't some young party animal
we're talking about here... this is an old chap who was bursting for a
pish. After reportedly drinking a litre of water before he boarded the
plane, he relieved himself into a plastic bottle after having been
refused access to toilets whilst the aircraft was taxiing.

This is a man FAMED for being able to hold his water (or wine,
rather). If it had been a non-celebrity; do you really think that the
intitial reaction to the headline '62-year-old man relieves himself in
plane cabin' would be that 'Aye, he was drunk!'? I don't think it
would. Depardieu hasn't released a statement yet, but this incident
may have been down to a number of plausible reasons - most likely that
he has a problem with his prostate; something that affects a large
proportion of men in their sixties.

I just think we should all wheesht and give old Depardieu the benefit
of the doubt. I think the fact that there are no reports of him being
abusive towards stewards; that, and the fact that he even offered to
help clean up, demonstrate that he was probably humiliated after what
happened.

So, please. Lay off Depardieu. You wouldn't attack your Gran if she
lost control of her bowel; why do it to him just because he's famous?

TTFN,

x

Table Read of Westenders Episode 5 (Philip Larkin) (Adult themes) by Philip Larkin

A couple of months ago, I was selected to join a group of writers including Ann Marie Di Mambro, Amy Roberts, Owen Bell, Chris Dolan, Martin McArdie and Sandy Nelson to storyline the series arc and write an episode of live radio soap, Westenders for Oran Mor in Glasgow. My episode (episode 5) premiered on May 12th, starring Juliet Cadzow (Balamory), David Walshe, Kate Donnelly (Still Game), Gavin Mitchell (Still Game), Tom Urie (River City) and Lisa Gardener (River City).

The main character Pearl (the theatrical landlady played by Juliet Cadzow of Balamory fame) is being investigated by her lodger, Farquar (Gavin Mitchell of Still Game/ Takin' Over the Asylum) who unbeknownst to her is an Arts Council spy. Farquar happened upon Pearl's guest house by accident when he was kicked out of his family home by his cheating wife, Deirdre.

Pearl has been give the last grant in Scotland worth £20,000 - and she's blown it all on new tits and a facelift. She justifies this as 'research' for her play 'The Silver Beaver'.

Pearl's brother Diamond is a pre-op transexual (he's already had his boobs done), who has been unsure as to whether or not he should get the snip. Every episode until now has featured a 'will he/won't he' storyline, and he's finally settling on remaining 100% man and 50% woman - but people won't stop talking about his cock.

Beryl (Pearl & Diamond's elderly mother played by Kate Donnelly of Cracked/Chewin' the Fat fame), is a feisty granny who has no shame in sharing her stories of debauchery with her not-so-typical family. Beryl is wise of Farquar's scheming as an arts council spy - but no-one believes her madness.

In this episode, Pearl is struggling with finding the 'missing taboo' of her play, and Diamond confides in his mother that his willy seems to be growing the more people talk about it...

NB: The recording is a candid recording of the table read, so there will be a little chatter, a few slip ups and a lack of SFX. Also, it's a bit dirty...